Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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