Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
