mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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