Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
