I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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