Got a toothbrush?
This girl is more easily done than said...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
