we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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