i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
