hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
