What a fucking waste of an outfit
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
