cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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