I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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