What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
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OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....