so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten