watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So squirting runs in the family.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.