I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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