I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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