I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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