Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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