Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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