did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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