my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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