Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
