who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
