Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
