so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
