Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
