I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
