Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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