im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
