I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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