I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
