I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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