would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
