well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
