Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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