Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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