Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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