just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
