Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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