We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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