New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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