I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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