The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize