Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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