you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
