remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
