NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
