She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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