The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize