My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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