so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
