he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
COCAINE IS GR8
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
