what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
