I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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