I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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