are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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