is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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